Love is an art, it is one of the best known phrases at the level of romance and its explanation lies in all the elements that love contains to be true, in addition to the tests that must be overcome by people who decide to establish a stable relationship.
In this sense, thanks to the need that every human has to love and feel loved, different characteristics have been developed over time that help you maintain love and encourage it to endure and strengthen.
Therefore, below you can obtain a full knowledge about the elements that the art of loving has and the most effective keys that you can apply to enhance it.
What is the art of loving?
The psychoanalystErich Fromm, explains in his book “The Art of Loving”, that “Love is an action, the practice of a human power, which can only be realized in freedom and never as a result of a compulsion”, in addition, he emphasizes that love is an activity beyond a passive affection.
In this sense, Fromm recapitulates in his book, that many people confusetrue lovewith the self-infatuation that can arise between two people at the beginning of a union, details that the art of loving is something even deeper, real and pure.
In addition, he emphasizes that the art of loving includes first of all knowing oneself and then knowing the other person, it is an act of commitment of his own will that merits constant challenges, which can lead him to strengthen or destroy himself.
Elements involved in the art of loving
Love, as an affective feeling, has different characteristics that characterize it so that it can be real and pure, this is because, being considered an art, it implies a series of elements that involve effort, dedication, time and discipline. Next, you will know what each one is about:
Respect
Respect is one of the most instilled Valuesin the development of a person, due to the importance it has when being in charge of revering, caring and other people as an equal.
For its part, within couple relationships, it intervenes as a primary value to maintain trust, physical and emotional integrity, value the interests, ideals, needs or concerns of the other person, always respecting their thoughts and the union they decided to establish.
Commitment
The cognitive psychologist Robert J. Sternberg , in his study entitled “Triangular Theory of Love” , explains that commitment is about the decision that each person makes to love, respect, value their partner, in addition to caring for the love they feel. towards the other.
Therefore, the commitment includes the responsibility that each person assumes to be faithful to another, being the choice of each individual the fact of maintaining love above all things, since this is the fundamental basis in any relationship.
Caution
The art of loving is reflected in the sense of protection and care that emerges when you feel love for another person. Taking care implies being aware of their needs, avoiding doing things that hurt your loved one and always keeping the details that strengthen love and union.
Responsibility
The acts that are committed and the words that are said must be recognized by each individual as elements of maturity and the responsibility that they acquire when committing to a relationship.
Therefore, it is essential that each one knows how to act consciously, always keeping in mind that they must take responsibility if they did or said something wrong. This, in addition to strengthening the relationship, helps to maintain trust and respect between them.
Passion
Passion, is what unites the two people, involves emotions of closeness, attraction and sexual desire. For the art of loving, passion is what determines how long they feel to be with that special person and the things you are capable of doing to achieve that closeness.
Comprehension
Understanding starts from personality, to tastes, ideals, thoughts or different ideas that your partner may have. Learning to understand her, respecting her feelings and understanding them in the most difficult moments are the elements that characterize the art of loving.
Knowledge
Couple relationships, before consolidating, must go through a series of stages where both discover the secrets, attitudes, tastes and defects of each other.
In this sense, the importance of getting to know other people lies in knowing how to treat them according to their principles and avoiding things that make them uncomfortable. This is achieved with good communication and trust.
Support for
Support is essential in every relationship, this is because both of them always expect to receive attention and have the certainty that they can take refuge in their loved one during adverse situations.
Therefore, it is about giving advice, helping to find a solution and giving words of encouragement, so that supporting each other will strengthen the love, union and closeness between the two.
Patience
Love is an art, for the things that every human being is able to endure in order to maintain a stable love relationship. Patience is the ability that develops over time to tolerate certain situations that make you uncomfortable, controlling impulses when expressing yourself so as not to cause harm to the other person.
How can you enhance the art of loving?
Like all affective feelings, love must be cared for and maintained so that it is not lost or worn out. The art of loving, therefore, includes a series of qualities that must be constantly strengthened so that this feeling is strengthened.
Next, you will be able to know the 10 wonderful keys that will help you strengthen the art of loving:
1. Strengthen self-love
Before loving another person, you must begin by valuing yourself, respecting yourself, caring for yourself, and loving yourself. Self-love makes you a better person for society and for that loved one you want to be with, strengthens your sense of belonging and makes you a person with a greater capacity to love others.
2. Respect and accept the other as they are
The value of respect must be fostered at all times within couple unions. It is what keeps trust and true love in balance, since it helps both to have the necessaryempathy , understanding and commitment so that love can be maintained and transcend.
3. Maintain assertive communication
The expert in couples’ relationships, Nacho Tornel , states in his book “Make a Pair” , that “In a couple it is as important or more than the ability to express oneself, the ability to listen. The ability to attend to and understand what the other tells us” , Tornel also states that communication between a couple is essential for their stability.
Therefore, assertive communication is the main key to solving problems and avoiding major arguments, expressing feelings and, above all, maintaining the union between the two, which directly contributes to strengthening trust and keeping the relationship balanced.
4. Respect individual spaces
Each man and woman should have their space to carry out the activities they like and spend time with family or friends, this is essential so that both can spend time without creating uncomfortable situations or fracturing the trust they have.
The best way to achieve this is by communicating the needs of each one and the moments of leisure they wish to have, thanks to this, both will be able to feel the freedom to dedicate spaces for themselves without neglecting the relationship.
5. Unconditionally support the other
Among the various forms of support, there are: listening to their problems, helping to solve adverse situations, reinforcing their positive points or qualities, raising their self-esteem and giving them ideas that can help them improve, all this will make your partner feel unconditional support and feel strengthen the art of loving.
6. Attend to the needs of the other
To enhance the art of loving, it is necessary to know and satisfy the needs that your life partner has. First of all, you must recognize that your partner deserves that you pay attention to certain things and then put them into practice, this will strengthen the bond between the two and keep the level of interest of one against the other high.
7. Be empathetic and understanding
Being empathetic and understanding are qualities that are developed during the life of each human being but that he learns to implement correctly when he is immersed in a relationship.
In such a case, understanding and empathy are samples of the art of loving, since the individual maintains their differences in front of those of the other person, just by respecting them and understanding their points of view, turning this into a sample of love and understanding.
8. Collaborate and work as a team
Teamwork is the only way to minimize the burdens that arise when the couple begins to form a family, in addition, the collaboration that both provide is a sign of the interest they have in providing conditional support, thus enhancing the relationship relationship that they are consolidating.
9. Do activities together
Activities carried out as a couple help not only strengthen the relationship, but also foster a sense of union, commitment, Intimacy and trust.
Spending time together, therefore, is one of the things that bonds two people the most, because in those moments they can get to know each other more openly while having fun and integrating as a couple.
10. Enjoy sexuality
Currently, enjoying sexuality between couples who maintain a loving relationship is necessary to intensify the loving bond they have, it also enhances intimacy and is part of the ways of showing care and affection, being an important part of the art of loving.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.