If you’ve ever felt that your behavior and that of your partner or someone close to you were completely the same, chances areyou’veexperienced a symbiosis in that relationship.
Symbiosis is abiological interaction, that is, a close and persistent relationship that occurs between different organisms. In the case of humans, it occurs when one or more individuals behave as a single person.
What is symbiosis in psychology?
According to psychology(1), symbiosis is a relationship established between individuals who have established abond of codependency, it is basically a fusion of both personalities.
Note: Symbiosis is necessary in childhood when weneed to build that bondwith our mother, however when we grow up it is necessary to learn to build our own identity since otherwise, we could feel frustrated or emotionally dissatisfied.
Features of symbiosis in psychology
It is of vital importance to understand that there are several characteristics thatmake up the symbiosis(2) in psychology and recognize them in order to identify them and take action in this regard.
Then we invite you to read its characteristics.
It originates in the mental mechanism called discounting.
When we talk about themental mechanism called discounting(3), we mean when one has the tendency tochoosesmall and immediate rewards instead of opting for larger rewards but more distant in time.
In asymbiotic relationshipwe can merge with each other’s ideas and values since, unconsciously, we are aspiring to small rewards for going to the immediate.
It constitutes a codependency between two or more people
When there is a codependency(4) between two or several people, all the parts are dependent and complement each other to keep the most immature parts of the personality under control.
Note: This causes certain parts of the personality to be repressed, while the more mature parts take control, generating emotional dissatisfaction.
Not all ego states are used
In symbiosis, only three of the six states of the Ego (5) are available, therefore the other three are canceled out of the rest of them.
This occurs because the person feels incapable of having a complete personality without the other person(s) by their side and chooses to merge with complementary people, who have the ego states active that they themselves have excluded.
There is no autonomy
Not having all the ego states available,the person in certain aspects depends on the opinions and ways of behaving of the other. Since, the parts that he assumes as missing are imitated by those who complement him.
To highlight: In a symbiotic relationship the parties do not act autonomously and independently (6) but rely on the attitudes and behaviors of the other.
Complementary roles are played
As we have previously mentioned, when two or more people are in symbiosis , each person assumes a role and they complement each other (7)tag. The sum of the parts forms the fused personality.
It can be done in a healthy way
Although we have focused on the most negative aspects of symbiosis, it can occur in a healthy way.
A healthy and natural symbiosis, according to child psychiatrist Margaret Mahler (8) , is one experienced by children and their mothers in the first months of life, where the first begins to experience the world through his mother.
Effects of symbiosis on personal identity
Symbiosis can be healthy or it can become a terrible diseasewhen considered pathological. That is why we must recognize its effects and identify if we have experienced them.
Next we will expand each of its effects.
loss of identity
One of the effects that can occur when being in symbiosis with another due to a close relationship , is the loss of identity (9) Where, one of the parties, assumes the identity of the other as if it were their own.
Note: This ends up triggering an act by imitation when the person believes that they are acting out of conviction.
Low self-esteem
emotional immaturity
It is also probable that a person who is experiencing a symbiosis is under emotional immaturity (11) Unconsciously, he avoids taking charge of himself since it is easier to imitate others than to fight for one’s own desires.
However, in the long term, the symbiosis will not be profitable for you and will charge you a high price for your actions.
Extreme Separation Anxiety
Another effect that can occur is separation anxiety , generating great anguish for those who experience it due to separating from the person with whom they are linked.
Crisis of panic
How to overcome symbiosis?
When identifying the symbiosis we must understand that a large part depends on our willpower and perseverance that thanks to this we will be able to overcome ittag. However, you have to be patient, since the process can take years.
In the following lines we will expand some tips so that you can achieve it.
Maintain personal identity and autonomy
It is important to always maintain personal identity and autonomy, so as not to depend excessively on or give entity to anyone to hurt you.
Tip: You can start writing your desires and thoughts in a notebook and ask yourself where each one comes from and when you started having them.
Promote self-awareness
Get rid of emotional trauma
Many times we repress emotional traumas , to fit into the system or in various groups and although this is often necessary, we must also learn to release them since otherwise we will not be able to be happy.
Tip: Write down those sensations or situations that make you uncomfortableand next to them write what causes you and why. Understanding them is the first step to freeing yourself from them.
Go to therapy if necessary
There are different branches and different centersthat can help you if you still haven’t managed to overcome symbiosis. For this, we recommend that you read about the therapies that are in great demand and their programs before opting for any of them.
Key Findings
- Symbiosis is a relationship established between individuals who have entered into a bond of codependency.
- In a symbiosis all parts are dependent.
- Not all symbioses are negative, however they can become pathological .
- They can generate low self-esteem, emotional dependence, anxiety and panic, among others.
- It is important to overcome it and go to therapy if necessary.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.