Self-help is an exceptional tool that allows us to go through conflicts and difficult moments, as well as self-esteem problems, traumas and overcome bullying situations.
Self-help has been available to us for several years now. And in just a few years, it has taken its place among the bestseller shelves of every bookstore.
In the following article we invite you to know a little more about this topic, so you can learn more about what it is about and how to put it into practice in your life.
What is self-help?
Self-help comes in all forms and all sizes. There is no general type of self-help for everyone, each person is unique and unmatched. However, what does not differ is that if you practice it for a long time, you will surely notice the benefits in your mental health and your quality of life.
So, we could say that self-help is the act of providing or helping or having the ability to provide or help oneself without the help of others through positive techniques, evaluations and affirmations, meditations and therapeutic techniques.
Recommendations for applying self-help in life
In addition to the hundreds of self-help books in the world, it is also important to take into account some considerations if we are going to start a self-help work, to overcome any problem we are going through.
Here are some recommendations to keep in mind when applying self-help in your life.
Learn to know and understand you
The first step to being able to help yourself is to know yourself. You can’t help yourself if you don’t know yourself well. Knowing more about yourself can teach you a lot about your feelings and the way you react to certain situations.
This is one of the reasons why self-awareness forms a large part of self-help and is one of its pillars. Also, if you’ve ever done any type of therapy, you’ll see that they all have one thing in common: learning more about ourselves.
Admit your mistakes
Often people say things like “I’m sorry you felt that way” or “it’s a shame it didn’t work out”. However, blaming other people or minimizing your responsibility does not help anyone.
Before we can learn from our mistakes, we must accept full responsibility for our role in the outcome. YES, this can be uncomfortable at times, but until you can own up to your own mistakes, you’re not ready to change.
Increase your self-confidence
Yes, we know, it’s easier said than done. But something you must do to help yourself increase your confidence in yourself. And if you are a person who has suffered bullying this may seem like an impossible and painful task. But don’t worry, today, we have incredible tools thanks to neuroscience.
There are some strategiesthat neuroscientists have discovered: You see, our brain is constantly forming new neural connections. Imagine that your neural connections are like wiring.
In this sense, the more times you think about something or do a specific action, the more that connection or cable hardens or grows. While, on the other hand, the fewer times you think or do something, the weaker that connection or cable will be.
So, if you want to have self-confidence, what better way to create it from your own conception than once you promise to meet a goal, however small it may be, if you meet it, your brain releases certain endorphins and hormones of happiness and satisfaction, such as dopamine.
The more times you keep your word, such as losing weight, finishing a project, or cleaning your house, the more self-confidence you will gain over time. So it is also necessary that you take into account that if you do not comply, it works in reverse.
Therefore, something you can do, if you set yourself a goal so big that it seems unattainable, is to cut it into small pieces. For example, if you propose to lose 20 kilos, start with five, and so on.
Understand and accept criticism
Accept it, throughout your life, you will receive a lot of criticism. Of which, most will be just to make you better. From our parents when we were little, to our teachers at the university and our bosses at work.
The truth is that most of the criticism we receive is just to improve ourselves. So, take them as a favor for your personal improvement.
And if any of the criticism hurts you, then you must analyze why it hurts, that is where this important task of self-knowledge comes into play. By knowing why some things hurt you more, you will know what you have to work on yourself.
Fight for your goals
As we have said in the second point, meeting your goals helps build self-confidence. Otherwise, it will simply do the opposite.
That is why it is very important that you understand the value of keeping the promises you make to yourself, no matter how big or small they are.
To help you meet your goals in a more efficient way, you can implement the SMART method to achieve your goals.
- Specific (specific)
- Measurable (measurable)
- Achievable (achievable)
- Relevant
- Timely
Being guided by this method will help you achieve your goals more easily, since you will not set yourself unattainable and unrealistic goals, and in this way, when you meet them, you will see how your self-confidence increases.
Many successful companies like Google, S&P Global, and Accenture, among others, use this method to achieve their quarterly goals, and for good reason.
Manage your time well
Take advantage of your time. If you learn to take advantage of your time, you will see that you will not only achieve more goals, but you will also have time to rest and have fun.
Eliminate distractions, such as your cell phone, while you are working or doing something important to you, such as exercising.
A good method that you can use to divide your time well is to separate your tasks between urgent and non-urgent. And if you’re having trouble concentrating, we recommend implementing the Pomodoro method.
The Pomodoro Technique was developed in the late 80s by Francesco Cirillo, who had difficulty concentrating on his studies. Feeling overwhelmed, he committed to focusing with just 10 minutes of focused study time.
Encouraged by the challenge, he found a tomato-shaped kitchen timer and the effective Pomodoro technique was born. Try thisFree Pomodoro Stopwatch.
Take care of your health
Health plays a very important role in our self-perception. If you are not in solid health, you are likely to suffer from anxiety or depression.
A study published in SpringerLink , has shown that a healthy diet can help you improve your levels of happiness hormones, such as serotonin and dopamine.
Include more fruits and vegetables in your diet, and try to make it as healthy as possible, eliminate ultra-processed packaged foods as much as possible.
Try that your diet is composed mostly of healthy and whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, meats, eggs, nuts, legumes and cereals, dark chocolate, full-fat dairy and olive oil.
Do recreational activities
A good way to pamper yourself and improve your self-esteem or deal with a problem is by doing activities that you enjoy.
There is no specific recreational activity, since we are all interested in different things. However, here are some ideas: exercise, read a book, take a bath, take a course, etc.
Collaborate with others
Collaborating with other people can be a great help in improving your relationship with other people and with yourself.
Collaboration can improve your communication and negotiation skills, any couple, friendship, family or friends can create a better relationship based on cooperation and teamwork.
Ask for help when needed
Sometimes the fear of asking for help is often accompanied by feelings of shame. We think we’re wrong because we don’t feel right, or can’t get off the couch, or are afraid of the future, and we assume other people are wiser and better.
Asking for help does not make you weak, on the contrary, being encouraged to ask for help is a symbol of self-confidence and security, so go ahead and ask for help.
Self-help features
Self-help is so varied and comes in so many formats, from books, to courses and seminars, that on top of this it has many varied features. Here we tell you some of the characteristics of self-help.
Does not need third-party supervision
The same word describes it: self-help, that is, you do it yourself. In fact, the ideal is that you do it alone and without the help of others. Since it is a solitary activity, it is a good way to encourage yourself to try different types of self-therapy.
It is a self-paced learning
In order to help yourself, you must first learn how to do it. That is the beauty of self-help, since it requires a degree of knowledge to be able to put it into practice. You can start by reading a self-help book and then apply some things you learn to yourself.
Requires self-analysis and effort
It is important that you analyze yourself and know exactly what hurts you and what hurts you, as well as who you are and what motivates you.
If you don’t know much about yourself, we recommend that you take some psychological tests that you can find on the web and that can help you a lot to discover more about your personality. For example, the test of the16 personalities of Myers and Briggs.
Goes hand in hand with personal development
In order to carry out our personal development, it is necessary that you go through a path of self-help. We could say that these two go almost hand in hand, since to be a better version of yourself you must work on your weaknesses and your strengths.
Allows you to acquire useful tools
Learning how to help ourselves is a very useful tool, since we will know exactly how to solve problems, calm our nerves, stop panic attacks and avoid depression, among others.
Develop skills for everyday life
Self-help has valuable lessons that can help you deal with everyday problems, such as problematic situations with other people, staying calm during a stressful situation, and also apply your self-help knowledge to help other people.
It uses different resources
As we’ve said before, self-help comes in many forms and for everyone. There are various types of self-help, from self-awareness to guided meditation and self-therapy. You can choose the one that best suits your preferences and your personality.
It is effective when setting goals
Knowing yourself is key when planning an objective, as well as knowing some necessary tools to ensure you achieve them, such as the previously seen SMART objectives.
Allows you to create action plans
The best strategy to meet your goals and improve as a person is to have a good action plan. Self-help tools can help you come up with a good goal planning path.
Requires constant self-assessment
The best way to see your progress and know what you should continue working on is by self-assessing your progress. With sincerity and an objective vision, carry out a weekly self-assessment to see your evolution.
benefits of self help
Self help has many benefits. There are many good reasons to take a self-help approach to addressing your problems and issues, here are just a few.
Contributes to self-awareness
Being more self-aware is the first step in many aspects of personal growth. You can’t solve a problem you don’t know about.
That’s where the benefits of self-help come in: it allows you to see yourself more clearly. As a result, you can use that as a starting point for many parts of your personal growth journey.
Solve practical problems
Self-help makes you a better and wiser person, this can help you recognize potential problems before they occur so you can avoid them before they become substantial.
Helps manage emotions
Self help is empowering. Developing a self-help plan keeps you in control of your own destiny and helps you control your emotions and think with a cool head.
Improves self-esteem
If you suffer from low self-esteem, maybe it’s time you learned how to help yourself. There are many forms of self-help that can improve your self-esteem, since many of these allow us to control inner chatter, which is often to blame for how hard we tend to be with ourselves.
Allows to develop skills
Learning more about yourself is a very important part of self-help, and it can also help you discover strengths you didn’t know you had and develop your skills.
Focus on the positive
Practicing self-help produces positive feelings, which helps build confidence and self-esteem that will make you feel good.
Improves interpersonal relationships
There is no doubt that a self-confident person has better relationships. Have you ever heard the phrase “to love another person, you must first love yourself?” Well, this only shows that the relationship you have with yourself is the same one you can have with others, so love yourself as much as you can. .
Helps to enjoy life better
And best of all, if you practice self-help you will be able to enjoy your life better, free of negative thoughts, fears and insecurities. If you want to start your self-help journey, here areThe best self-help books in Spanish.
Also, if you are interested, we recommend reading the following authors: Jen Sincero, Robert Kiyosaki, Elizabeth Gilbert, Elsa Punset, Walter Riso, Álex Rovira, Martin Seligman, Estanislao Bachrach, Viktor Frankl and biographies of influential people such as Albert Einstein.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.