Have you ever wondered if there is a toxic person in your life or even if you yourself are?
Toxic people are exhausting and difficult to treat. You deserve to have people in your life that you enjoy spending time with, who support you, and love you sincerely. We’ve all had toxic people throughout our lives.
Being able to detect harmful behavior is the first step to minimizing its impact. You can’t change people, but you can change your behavior and avoid these problems.
There are many things that toxic people do to manipulate you. In this article you will learn how you can detect and deal with them.
What are toxic people?
To detoxify our lives, we must first know how to detect a toxic person. They talk like everyone else and may even hide in your group of friends, your family or your partner.
Toxic people are manipulative, skilled with lying, and excellent actors. One way to identify them is the feeling you get after dating them.
If you feel emotionally drained after seeing a person, it’s likely toxic. They are abusive and unsupportive. They can be exhausting and want you to feel sorry for them.
Characteristics of toxic people
Toxic people have well-defined characteristics, some of which we present below so that you can identify them (or identify yourself) and try to stay away from them or, failing that, become aware and modify those actions that make you a toxic person.
They are self-centered and narcissistic
Toxic people tend to be self-centered and narcissistic and will always make you feel like you are second in the race. You deserve more!
Learn to identify those people who spend their time talking about themselves and their problems. The “me, me, me” is a “no, no, no” if you want to avoid the toxic ones.
They are pessimistic and negative
They always have something sad, negative or pessimistic to say. They can never see the positive and tend to bring everyone down with their pessimistic comments.
If you are with someone who only has bad things to say, be careful, they may be a toxic person.
they lack empathy
They are not concerned or interested in what is important to others. In fact, it is likely that if something good happens to you they will minimize it and prevent you from concentrating on your own goals.
Beware of people who criticize you or lower your standards or hope. They lack empathy.
They like to victimize themselves
Some toxic people are drama magnets. Something always happens. And of course, once one problem is solved, another arises.
This is because they like to victimize themselves, since they get favors in return. Victims thrive in a crisis and it also makes them feel important.
They do not celebrate the achievements of others
They do not care, support, or are interested in what is important to others.
In fact, this type of person tends to distance himself from other people if, for example, good things happen to him. This is very common among coworkers.
suffer from envy
Our real loved ones don’t get jealous of us. However, toxic people tend to be envious of your achievements.
They tend to think that nobody, more than them, deserves a good job, or that salary increase. Stay away from these people.
They are aggressive and manipulative
Toxic people are manipulative by nature. Their modus operandi is to get others to do what they want them to do. They use other people to achieve their goals.
types of toxic people
There are many profiles of toxic people, you would be surprised to know how many. Next you will see some types of toxic people.
The one who manipulates
Manipulators absorb time and energy under the facade of friendship. It can be difficult to deal with them because they treat you well.
They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you find fun, but they use this information to manipulate you.
Manipulators always want something from you, and they will do anything to win you over just so they can get something in return.
The one who dominates
Toxic people display patterns of exploitation, domination, and abuse and tend to get away with certain behaviors if their partner is empathetic.
The one who envy
For toxic people, envy is always present. Even when something great happens to them, they get no satisfaction from it.
This is because they measure their fortune against that of the world and constantly compare themselves to others.
Spending too much time with envious people is dangerous because they teach you to trivialize your own achievements.
The one who belittles
Toxic people tend to belittle and constantly criticize everything you do. They have a way of taking what you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it.
Instead of appreciating and learning from those who are different from them, they look down on others and stifle your desire to be passionate and expressive.
The sociopsychopath
Toxic people are quite apathetic and very interested. They only want to get something in exchange for you and will never have a disinterested relationship with you.
These traits, similar to those of a sociopath, are precisely what makes them toxic people, who are willing to lie in order to get something in their favor.
The Insecure
There are certain toxic people who have bad intentions and derive deep satisfaction from the pain of the people around them.
Some want to hurt you, make you feel bad, or get something from you. They tend to be insecure and seek to pass on their insecurities to other people, making them believe that they are not capable of achieving what they set out to do.
The one who lies
Compulsive liars know how to play with your mind. Spotting a liar can be a difficult task as they don’t want to be detected and will go out of their way to blend in with the crowd.
If your gut tells you something is wrong, trust it. That toxic person he suspects may be his best friend.
How to avoid being a toxic person?
You may feel identified with some points and it may not all come from a toxic place.
However, there is always room to improve and be a better person. Therefore, below we will see some things you can do to avoid becoming a toxic person.
Cultivate self-esteem
To cultivate self-esteem it is important that you are true to yourself and know yourself thoroughly. Start by asking your closest friends what some of your shortcomings are so you can work on them.
Make a list of all the issues you need to work on and practice gratitude. In a journal, write down three things you are grateful for in your life, such as your health, your family, and even your pets.
Learn to accept yourself as you are and accept your mistakes and celebrate your successes. If it’s hard for you to see it, make a list of all the good things you’ve accomplished throughout your life, you’ll see that there’s a lot to be proud of.
Recognize mistakes and learn from them
Acknowledging mistakes is not a bad thing, on the contrary, it can improve your behavior.
Showing vulnerability is important if you want to work on a solid and healthy personality. And there is nothing more toxic than hiding mistakes and not accepting them.
Learn to live with both your successes and your mistakes. Also, through mistakes, we learn more.
Be humble and avoid pride
A study published in Frontiers in Psychology showed that humble leaders are more likely to create healthier and more effective relationships, develop their employees’ potential, and mentor them.
Humility is not only associated with higher leadership, but also with lower levels of self-defeating work behaviors.
Work on your humility and you will not only be happier and learn to appreciate your life better, but you will have healthier relationships with others.
Stay optimistic and positive
Maintaining a positive and optimistic attitude will help you be a better person and lift the spirits of others.
If you are very negative at the moment, pay attention to who you are listening to: Negative people, lots of bad news, etc. Turn off negative voices and news and surround yourself with positive news and people.
Share goals with others
Sharing goals with others is not only beneficial to avoid a toxic personality, but also to achieve your goals.
Since you’re putting yourself out there, you’ll feel more pressure to achieve the goals you shared and even find help or a partner who is pursuing the same goals.
Enjoy every moment lived
The past has passed, the future has not arrived, so the present is all we have. We forget to enjoy life and instead choose to live in the future, waiting for something else to happen, or in the past, thinking about old times.
It is easy to escape boredom or frustration, but the best thing is to face it and be present, both in good times and in bad.
smile frequently
A study published by the University of South Australia examined participants who held a pen between their teeth, forcing their face to smile. The experiment concluded that these facial expressions generate positive emotions.
When your muscles make you smile, they send a signal to your brain, making you more likely to see the world around you in a positive light.
Ask for help when needed
If you are not sure something is right, you should ask for help. In fact, asking for help is one of the best exercises for building trust in others and humility.
Whether consulting friends, family or a third party, there is much to learn about ourselves and the world through the vision of others.
In the end, no one comes into life fully formed. We are all in a learning line. Asking for the help you need to achieve better relationships with others is never a weakness.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.