Many times you experience frustration or a feeling of helplessness at not being able to change something especially if you interact daily with a large number of people.
Plans do not go as we want, because of our own limitations or that of others. However, when frustration builds up, it becomes pathological.
Feeling frustration or anger with each other is not a healthy emotional state.
If you feel that you are a person charged with frustration and suffer from explosive moments of anger and want to control them, we explain what frustration is and how to identify those emotions, what causes them and how to control them.
What is frustration?
It is a state or emotional response that is triggered by events involving disappointment or anger that arises from perception when a person’s expectations are not met by not being able to achieve what is intended.
Frustration can come from any experience in which you failed to perform a difficult action or task, however insignificant it may seem to the people around you.
On the other hand, the impact of frustration depends on the person (their personality) and various variables that are difficult or impossible to control, which creates a threshold of individual tolerance.
Frustration is the feeling of helplessness that arises from the perception of resistance to the fulfillment of the individual will.
It is composed of a real situation that occurred and the experience at the emotional level elaborated from that situation.
Causes of frustration
Frustration occurs when something desired in our life is expected to be realized and it is impossible to do so for different reasons, we explain some of them below.
Internal conflicts
It is probably the most common cause.
The conflict can be categorized into two large groups: external and internal. In this case, the internal occurs in the mind of the individual.
Internal conflict occurs when the individual is forced to choose between two or more decisions to achieve a purpose.
The causes can be very varied, it can go from a simple choice of shoe color to something much more complex, like choosing between two job opportunities.
Decisions are part of our day to day and we cannot separate them from our routine. Faced with these daily decisions, our body reacts appropriately.
However, when we are faced with two or more options of great importance to reach a single goal or we are faced with the decision to choose between two goals of great importance, mental distress appears.
Physical or psychological limitations
The physical limitations that we encounter throughout life can also frustrate us. They create an internal conflict between what we want and what we can.
Let’s use a simple example: The child may experience frustration at not being able to carry out an action on his own, such as walking or reaching a high place. His frustration is manifested by crying.
In our daily routine we come across similar examples. Frustration when not being able to finish a project on time or not being able to complete a task in a certain time.
In another class of examples we find those people who, due to some physical or mental disability, cannot carry out a difficult activity or task without requiring help.
This is particularly common in the elderly where the physical limitations of aging prevent them from performing everyday tasks with the same fluency or speed.
Uncontrollable anxiety states are linked to moments of frustration, triggered by circumstances that ordinarily should not produce such feelings.
Physical or social barriers
In certain people, there are factors that make effective communication with others impossible, leading to frustration. For example, the elderly or people with some kind of motor disorder.
Other factors that cause ineffective communication and frustration can be distance, problems in the communication medium or noise.
In other cases, physical or social barriers occur when there is an external obstacle that prevents achieving the goal. For example, not meeting the sufficient requirements to be accepted into a medical specialty.
Feeling of failing
Commonly, our lives are full of expectations, whether they are imposed by ourselves or by others (our parents, for example).
Expectations can be realistic or even unrealistic. The expectations work as an incentive to continue improving and giving our best in our respective area.
But they can have the opposite effect: they generate stress and anxiety when the person feels unable to comply with them. This feeling of helplessness leads to frustration and anger.
An example would be the child who feels unable to meet the expectations of his parents.
Fear of disappointment is a common trigger for frustration.
comparison with others
When people compare themselves to each other, it’s common for frustration to arise.
The individual tends to become obsessed with one or more attributes that another person possesses and that he does not, without contextualizing the situation. That is, why and how that person did achieve that attribute.
Another example is comparisons between socioeconomic status. A person feels frustration at not having financial security compared to that of his co-worker, for example.
Reward for delayed action
Also known as deferred gratification. It is the ability of a person to refuse an immediate reward in order to choose a later reward.
It is an attribute that is based on the patience, will and self-control of the person.
The ability for self-control has been linked to healthy living, physically and mentally, and good academic performance.
Those with little patience or a lack of self-control are prone to frustration at being forced to wait for a later reward rather than the initial gratification they hoped for.
A person with a low tolerance for frustration seeks a quick reward to alleviate it. Not getting it leads to even more frustration.
effects of frustration
Frustration, in low doses, is generally asymptomatic. However, when it becomes cumulative, effects occur, both physically and emotionally in the person.
Below, we will explain some of the symptoms that people with low tolerance to frustration tend to demonstrate:
Unbalanced behavior
Low frustration tolerance usually manifests itself in the person’s behavior.
They tend to exasperate easily, they act impulsively and without thinking about the consequences of their actions. The demand of the person, towards others and himself, is also common.
These kinds of people have difficulty adapting to the situation. When something doesn’t go as planned for any reason, your frustration and stress increase.
They can act radically. For these people, there are usually only two diametrically opposed options and not intermediate points, which can be achieved with patience and commitment.
Stress
Not being able to handle a situation properly or that things do not happen as planned, generates frustration and stress. Both go hand in hand, usually.
The person feels powerless when encountering a setback or they do not immediately receive everything they demand. This helplessness generates stress.
Low frustration tolerance causes the mere thought of a setback to cause stress and anxiety.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a common feeling in a person who frequently experiences frustration.
The uncertainty that the person’s expectations or hopes do not match reality induces uncontrollable anxiety.
Anxiety can manifest as a person’s inability to stay focused, meaning their mind quickly wanders into a series of thoughts that only generates even more stress.
People who experience some degree of neuroticism are also prone to distress, anxiety, stress, and frustration.
Aggressiveness
Frustration can make the person aggressive.
Remember that a person emotionally charged with frustration, anxiety and anguish is not able to control their emotions.
Sometimes, they look for culprits that reality does not conform to their preconceived idea (such as not being able to complete a difficult task). These culprits can be themselves or other people.
In 1939, a group of psychologists from Yale University proposed the frustration-aggression theory. This explanation suggests that aggressiveness, in general, derives from the person’s frustration and inability to achieve a goal.
The researchers suggested that the body reacts, in one way or another, to frustration. This feeling of helplessness leads to a response that may or may not be aggressive.
In other words, the frustration may be followed by a non-aggressive physical response. However, aggressiveness is always preceded by frustration.
Depression
Depressive pictures are common manifestations of emotional extremism (such as frustration)
The person may feel anxious, sad, and incapable of a difficult task. Depressed people, in the context of frustration, experience feelings of deep sadness, loss of energy, and lack of appetite.
A study published by the University of Cambridge found that prolonged feelings of anger and frustration may cause a depressive picture.
The study bases its statement on the hypothesis that when a person is unable to deal with anger or with the memories and emotions that anger brings with it, feelings of guilt and fear are generated.
The latter, in turn, only feed the anxiety and anguish of the person. Eventually culminating in depression.
How to overcome frustration?
Like any emotional disorder or acute emotional state, the path to self-control and peace of mind is a difficult task. However, with dedication, time, emotional support and a professional, it can be achieved.
Many times, throughout the day, we run into frustrating situations. Therefore, applying the following tips will help you control your emotions little by little.
acknowledge mistakes
Throughout our lives, we formulate plans. They can be short, medium and long term. We create detailed and well-planned steps to carry them out. We yearn with all our might to execute them with perfection.
However, the reality is different. We are imperfect beings, and if you look around you will find yourself surrounded by other imperfect beings, each with their own plans.
We cannot foresee every variable, every setback, or every dilemma. Learn to accept your mistakes.
By doing so, you will be able to improve and you will be able to deal with them more efficiently. Also, by doing so, you will be able to acquire a state of acceptance of yourself.
Know the limitations
Reiterating what we have said, every human being is an imperfect person.
Each possess their respective strengths, potentials, as well as weaknesses. Recognizing this is critical to overcoming low frustration tolerance.
Don’t make plans or create unrealistic expectations of yourself. By knowing your limitations, you will know what you are capable of doing for a certain task and it will also help you to improve to fulfill said task more efficiently.
Not only your limitations, but also accept the limitations and weaknesses of another person. Control your anger and frustration if the other person was not able to meet your expectations.
Trust in abilities
On repeated occasions, we doubt ourselves. We doubt our strength or capabilities.
This doubt can increase and generate insecurity. Insecurity generates starvation and is, in turn, prevents us from achieving our goals or tasks.
Failure to meet these goals generates frustration, which in turn only fuels insecurity, sadness, and a lack of confidence in ourselves. Thus a vicious cycle is completed.
Just as you must recognize your limitations and strengths to improve them, you must recognize your qualities and strengths. In other words, what you are realistically capable of doing.
On the other hand, also recognize the capabilities of the other. Especially in work and academic environments. Understand what each person is capable of.
Strengthen self-esteem
Low self-esteem makes a person more prone to suffering from depression and acute emotional states.
Emotional therapies and strategies that reinforce positive thoughts about yourself, establishing meaningful interpersonal relationships with someone you can talk to, also promote positive feelings.
have additional plans
Recognizing your physical limits and that there are factors beyond your control does not mean that you should put aside any type of planning.
If not, we recommend smart and realistic planning. Therefore, there must be backup plans, especially in the pinnacle steps of any plan.
These contingency plans stimulate the adaptability of the person and manage to act effectively in most possible scenarios that may occur.
Learn to meditate
Meditation consists of entering a state of mental pondering where you can analyze and think about thoughts, actions, mistakes, assumptions, possibilities and much more without the interruption of negative thoughts.
Meditation can be achieved in different ways: exercise like yoga or any other, breathing techniques, and even sitting and relaxing is a valid option to meditate.
communicate assertively
Communication is effective and important. It is an indispensable pillar for every area of our life to relate to others.
Frequently, the frustrations are born because the person does not adequately express what should be done or his wishes.
Failing to understand each other is a major cause of project failure.
Effective communication allows the expression of your ideas, perspectives, emotions and desires. If you are part of a team and you do not adequately express the steps to be fulfilled, your teammates will not fulfill their part as they should.
It is also important to teach children to express their thoughts and emotions, thus achieving understanding and avoiding their frustration.
Emotional Intelligence
Although popularized by psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman, the term artificial intelligence has been around since the second half of the 20th century in Wayne Payne’s doctoral thesis.
It is the individual’s ability to recognize their own emotions and those of others. But it goes beyond recognizing them, but also identifying them, controlling them and understanding their great influence on our actions.
It affirms that we can control to a certain degree the complexity of our emotional system, using it to guide our behaviors and thoughts, adapt to the situation and achieve our goals.
That is, not to fight against our emotions and put them aside, but to recognize their importance and how they influence our decisions.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.