Love languages are definitely one of the keys to the success of a relationship, only not all of us are aware of it yet.
They are a fundamental and indispensable tool that when we know and put into practice, many things will improve in our affective relationships, whether loving, family or friendly.
In this sense, it was in 1992 that Gary Chapman discovered an idea that would change the lives of many people with his book ” The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts .” endures).
Therefore, the following article is developed to make them recognize and identify what these five languages are and how to have more assertive interpersonal relationships with them; understanding the way we feel that we are loved and how those around us perceive love.
What are love languages?
Love languages are a fundamental truth and are of valuable particularity. They are, to understand it better, similar to those linguistic languages that we are used to facing in the world, but they are emotional languages.
People can commonly feel identified with two of the different types of language that have been categorized.
Identifying ours and recognizing our counterpart’s will be extremely healthy for the relationship and then, to be able to build an affective way for the emotional structure that we develop.
Characteristics of love languages
Love languages are identified to understand what the other needs to feel fulfilled and loved.
And this is the opportunity to work on discovering our way of communicating, so below we present the main characteristics of love languages.
They represent the ways of expressing love
The type of language that we handle is the way in which we receive love and usually deliver it. Each one of us develops in the course of life a main language and a secondary one that we recognize through time and experiences.
They are the way to show how and how much we love someone. And precisely for this reason, it is important to know and decipher them. Love after all is always a decision and this tool helps us make our way.
They allow us to understand how to love and be loved
In his book, Chepman explains that rarely does a couple have the same primary love language. And it is in those circumstances that we want to express our love, but the message does not arrive. It happens that for them we speak in a foreign language.
Knowing them allows us to have a solution. We then understand how the other person needs to be loved for the process to be satisfactory and successful. For the message to get through.
They depend on the personality and upbringing of each person.
The way our parents show love to us and how our childhood unfolds is always what begins to define our primary love language.
Likewise, even people who have not had a positive model to develop this knowledge tend to have the ability to still perceive it and demonstrate it under their effort and development on a personal level.
Strengthen interpersonal relationships
By understanding love languages we understand many things about the people around us. We understand how many times we have judged you just because the communication was uncertain.
When we put this tool into practice, we begin to observe more, we notice and notice details that previously went unnoticed. Demonstrations of love that had been sent but not received correctly.
They all relate to each other
The five languages are linked to each other helping us to express and experience. We are, from them, capable of applying each one even if we do not perceive them in the same way or with the same intensity.
These same ones also have the ability to complement and overlap to make communication much more successful.
the 5 love languages
In Gary Chapman’s Best Seller, love languages are presented as a formula to solve the division that occurs with the communication limitations of emotional languages.
We invite you to find out below the 5 languages that exist, which one you feel identified with and which ones you can recognize in your environment.
1. Words of affection
The words of affection or affirmation are the language that is handled through compliments, motivation, kind words and even the tone with which we address the person.
It happens that when people hear stimuli of this type, even when it is not their main language, they are motivated to give it back. We inspire courage and even dispel fears and insecurities that we may have inadvertently.
There is a study entitled ” Emotions and Language ” explaining that the fruit of interest in relationships and connectivity lies in the importance of social construction. His contribution has a lot of relevance in the developed language.
Words of affirmation fill a need in so many people. They are essential, even when we don’t want to admit it.
2. Physical contact
Physical touch is especially essential in childhood to promote the well-being of emotional development. The research study “ Incidences of tactile behavior as a non-verbal element of communication ”, emphasizes the theory that tactile satisfaction in childhood is important in the development of healthy behavior.
This language is very powerful, and can be from the most implicit, such as a spontaneous caress, to sexual intercourse.
Chapman describes the latter as a dialect, where the nerve receptors are known and how they perceive us, in addition to the important effect they have psychologically with the attention paid to them.
It is because of the importance of this type of language that hugs are universal messages to convey support and calm.
It is also very necessary to recognize that for people, that this type of language is their main language, a sudden physical contact or a blow would unleash catastrophes and irreparable damage in the relationship.
3. Gifts
Gifts are acts that are also key to the development of affective participation in childhood. They are tangible symbols with emotional value that seek to produce or foster bonds.
For people for whom this is their main language, the price of the gift has very little influence, it is usually valued by the intention and what is wanted to be transmitted.
Chapman states that a gift is the symbol of a thought. And not only the fact of thinking about it, but also everything that comes with looking for and getting the present is valued and, clearly, the different ways to deliver it, translating it as an expression of love.
4. Helpful Activities
They are the language that uses facts that require effort and dedication. The concept of this language is to serve with acts of love.
From the changes that have been taking place in society, acts of service overcome stereotypes. Here are some examples:
- Help pack a suitcase
- relieve someone of a task
- Plan an activity together
- Do an unsolicited favor
These are types of acts of service that often demonstrate the love that is felt for someone. It is a tool that although we all use it, many times we do not realize the impact it can have.
5. Valuable time
Also defined as quality time, it consists of the company. It is manifesting, being present, even without serving.
This implicit language is one of the different ways in which union and contact are promoted. Doing something together is synonymous with attention, especially if activities of interest are carried out.
Importance of knowing the languages of love
Understanding the languages, their reasons and how to stimulate them will allow us to avoid many failures that were sometimes motivated by not understanding this nature.
We know from the different languages the way in which we can demonstrate and understand that we love and exponentially improve our relationships.
Love languages are a doorway to empathy and the willingness to love. Applying it, although it is a decision, will be the key for when we have a relationship that we really want to make it work.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.