Love has changed over the years, since the twentieth century, its deep meaning, history and experience have been altered. Beyond a different society or world, it is because the name itself has lost strength with modernity.
From the twenty-first century we can speak of ephemeral and unreal experiences, which both young people and adults pass over without the mere importance of experience. This is how the so-calledliquid love exists.
In this article we will learn about liquid love, its true concept, as well as the effects it has on couples and ourselves.
What is liquid love?
It is important to know thatliquid loveis a psychological and profound concept, initially adopted by the sociologist and philosopher, Zygmunt Bauman(1).
Liquid love refers to thefragility that exists in the feelingsor bonds of the human being. This includes thenull or little affectionthat is had with those people who pass through our life, it is like downplaying love, and having it more out of necessity. It is a feeling that is reflected a lot in modernity.
Note: There are several projects on the name, but the concept of liquid love was born by Zygmunt Bauman’s book, entitled “liquid love, fragility of human bonds”(2).
Characteristics of liquid love
Liquid love, despite its deep meaning and the interpretation it entails, it is correct to mention that it has certainremarkable characteristics, which if recognized, can be faced. Among its features, the following are mentioned:
Refers to the fragility of interpersonal relationships
Relationships are wonderful, but they are completely fragile, because of human nature, which is a completely natural feeling. Liquid lovemakes a lot of reference to the fragility, fear and sensitivity that exist in relationships, which do not always turn out as others expect.
Note: One study mentions that “all human relationships sometimes exist, because of a cost-benefit logic. Like liquid love”(3).
Part of the individualistic culture
Theindividualistic culture is defined by principles of becomingautonomous and independent, which is not all bad, especially in the growth of adolescents to face life. It is part ofhuman rights.
However, when you start a family and love life, everything becomes part of a team. Liquid love is part of totally independent people who do not focus on others around them.
Establishes emotional detachment
It can be recognized by the Repression , the confusion of emotions (not knowing what we want) and the endless denials.
It is based on the satisfaction of momentary needs
When women complain about “Men Only Looking for Them for Sex” , they are not wrong most of the time.
Liquid love is characterized by those who seek to satisfy needs , momentarily, without wanting to think about relationships, the future or possible consequences. It happens a lot in youth.
relationships are unstable
Liquid love is present in those unstable or harmful relationships, where love is toxic , dead or non-existent. And one of both parties can suffer a lot from the lack of affection and trust that exists in this type of relationship.
Current technologies and consumerism drive it even more
Unfortunately it is a factor by which today’s youth is governed quite a lot, believing that it is true love .
Important: A study mentions that “Social networks are in themselves a current tool to interact with other people, and generate false affection” (4)
There is no responsibility or long-term commitment
In liquid lovethere is no importance to many things, only personal ones. But there is no need or the birth of aCommitment , the formation of the familyor assuming large responsibilities, such as having children. It is something that is simply completely ignored.
Relationships are based more on the physical
In liquid love it is only strong for the physical aspects, such as kisses , hugs and sexual relationstag. But as said above, it is only for the purpose ofsatisfying needs.
Note: In liquid love, words, thoughts and demonstrations are not remarkable, words are reserved enough.
Causes that originate liquid love
There are many origins of liquid love , mostly they are born in a personal way, due to the development of the Nature of each individualtag. For this reason it is necessary to know the causes to know if sometimes one needs more help.
Lack of self love
Love isn’t just about showing it to someone else or your own family, love is alsopersonal.
It’s the way we treat ourselves, how we act in the face of our dreams, and how we truly value ourselves. Lack of can befatal psychologically.
Fear of responsibility and commitment
Liquid love is characterized by people who are extremelyafraid of greater challenges, those such as commitments (such as marriage) or responsibility (such as forming a family and having children).
It is a way in which people manifest themselves, emotional immaturity is loaded with multiple fears and denials , as well as the fear of committing, receiving advice and even getting upset for no apparent reason.
Important: A study mentions that “Deep down, affective immaturity consists of selfishness. You live begging, not offering or giving anything to anyone”(5)
Education and Upbringing
A person develops his affections, his personality and his thinking according to his upbringing and education. When parents do not show affection, self-love and the importance of being responsible in daily life, someone without feelings is automatically created.
effects of liquid love
Liquid love has many effects in daily life, they are not always positive, and are then reasons for reflection and self-criticism.
Many times, in liquid love, people do not receive satisfactionabout the situation or the actions of the other. This generates afeeling of guilt and dissatisfaction, which can lead to low self-esteem and severe self-criticism.
Loss of personal identity
People who are in liquid love , completely lose their personal identity, this is because they do not recognize their tastes, they do not have strong and deep feelings. To the point of not knowingWhat they love and what things in private life are the ones that really matter to them.
and thinking. It can lead to terrible
Important: A study mentions one of the characteristics of emotional disorders as “An inability to form or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers, teachers or acquaintances” (6)
Unhappiness and existential emptiness
People develop a very serious feeling of unhappiness, without finding a point of escape or relief. This can even end in anExistential vacuum , that is, doubting one’s existence and purpose, why we live.
Note: When people do not feel or find love even in themselves, they decide to isolate themselves and not have contact with anyone.
How to combat liquid love?
Fortunately, there are many ways to Combat liquid love, many of which can be done on your own. You don’t need to invest money or ask for help, you just need the value of yourself.
Strengthen self love
Learn to loveyourself, to accept yourself with all your virtues or defects. Focus on always being a better person than you already are, as well as put doubts aside.
Tip:Don’t let extreme self-criticism slow you down, but drive you forward. With this, in addition, you will learn to love and tolerate others around you.
You must trust and never doubt , because you never know the results of the decisions someone makes, you must be focused on your abilities and trust yourself . Whether you succeed or fail, it is important to do it with honor and dignity .
Balancing freedom and security
Balance the balance that exists in your Freedom to express yourself or to be , as well as what is the level of securityyou have about yourself or, in any case, towards others. It is an exercise that we see in social, work and family life. We are always in practice with this scale.
- Liquid love is an act of modern times and in today’s society.
- The term comes from the book “Liquid love: fragility of human ties”
- It is the fragility of human feelings or the non-existence of these.
- It does not only affect partners, but also oneself and everything that surrounds it.
- It is a feeling that can have negative effects on everyday life.
- One must learn to love oneself, value oneself and do the same process towards others.