Friendship can have many degrees of trust and experience, so much so that it would be difficult for an expert to give clear conclusions as to why this occurs, whether as family or friends.
Among friends jokes, secrets and intimate conversations are shared. Although there are many rumors that sex between friends or best friends, it can be awkward, strange and implies a type of relationship beyond being friends.
The truth is that it is not strange, it is normal by human nature. Therefore, in this article, we will know what sex between friends is, as well as its advantages and disadvantages.
Perhaps you dare to try it with that person who has always attracted you or, on the contrary, you would never do it.
What is sex between friends?
It is the consummated sexual act between people, who share a bond of simple friendship, without necessarily being due to deep feelings, such as love .
This is because the attraction in sex between friends varies from sexual or physical attraction and romantic attraction, which is not very common in friends, however it is part of human nature.
They have also been known as friends with benefits or rights, in fact the prestigious Mexican magazine Glamor highlights that “sex between friends can be fun if there is good communication and the rules of the game are made very clear from the beginning.”
Advantages of sex between friends
With everything and this, sex between friends is not as bad or strange as it seems. It has its advantages if both people take the situation with maturity and great responsibility. Among those advantages there are the following.
There is trust because they know each other well
Sex between friends begins with the mutual trust they have, the friendship that is shared and the sincerity that exists.
Knowing their tastes and their secrets can sometimes help to enjoy a different experience and it can even be fun for some.
They can be with other people
Sex between friends does not bind romantic feelings, it does not mean being faithful as in a common relationship.
For this reason, those who have sex while being friends can meet more people and live varied experiences, without discomfort or jealousy of any kind.
There is no room for conflicts or misunderstandings
As previously stated, when you have sex between friends, there is no jealousy or possession of the other. This avoids conflicts or any misunderstanding, if they decide to be with other people.
To tell the truth, this only depends on the emotional level and the maturity that both parties have with the practice of this activity, so as not to ruin the friendship or trust.
There are no claims or restrictions
There can be no complaints between friends, such as seeing other people they like or having relationships with strangers.
Just as there are no restrictions on how they should do things or how to live their sexual life.
Sex between friends is about freedom, where everyone lives their intimate life as they wish, either with one person or with a totally different one. In the absence of love, there is no right to claim or jealousy
They don’t have couple routines
Those who have sex with friends do not have planned routines like a common couple.
They can live and play freely with their time, their sexual games and the different experiences that they both want to live. It is not necessary to be tied to a routine, but to enjoy an impromptu sexual experience with a friend.
You can make the rules clear
People having sex with friends can, if they wish, set rules for how their activity will work.
Perhaps rules such as not saying romantic words (such as “I love you”), not giving each other gifts like roses and stuffed animals, among other details that may stop seeming like friends, being more of a formal relationship.
The purpose of these rules is to respect the activity, and not feel other people’s things that both parties do not want.
no plans for the future
Being friends, it is not necessary to have plans for the future, such as starting a family and entering into a marriage.
It is even less desired this kind of thing, if there is no true love or deep affection. This does not mean that a full friendship cannot be maintained, desired and yearned for, even a very healthy one for the near future.
It is easier to share expenses
“Which one of us will pay the bill?” is a common question for a couple on a date. But friends can divide the expenses among themselves, without arguments or claims.
These types of expenses go more than anything in the outings that both of you do, such as a dinner or a night at a disco. There is no obligation to pay for the other as if they were a couple, they should do it, rather, if there is trust and respect for the economic situation of the other.
There may be a guarantee of discretion
Sex between friends is a very clear rule for discretion. This means that the practice of this activity, the experience and with whom it is done, remains in total secrecy.
It is not necessary for another group of friends or people to know what you are both doing in privacy . In addition, the two people must have this agreement from the beginning when they decide to have sexual relations, being friends.
They can consolidate the friendship
Sex between friends is considered one of the best ways to consolidate and strengthen the friendship between two people.
In private, both people explore their sexual tastes, they can express themselves freely and shyness disappears, something that can help both parties. In addition to increasing the self-esteem of the two people.
In this sense, Boise State University mentions in an extensive study that “casual sex between two people who share a friendship can strengthen said affective bond, in a great way.”
They can be based only on fun
Sex between friends should not have so much reasons or causes why two people decide to have mutual relations, it can be simply for fun.
This is common among teenagers and friends in college, who do not decide to commit themselves during sex.
It can lead to a stable and permanent relationship
Despite everything, sex between friends can result in a stable and formal relationship, which can lead to courtship and even marriage. It is not strange and it is normal if it happens, if such a feeling really exists.
After all, two people who enter into a relationship always start out as friends, which grows stronger until they find their true place in feelings.
Disadvantages of sex between friends
Sex between friends can be fun and a great experience for both men and women, but there are certain disadvantages that, if not taken with caution and maturity, can stop being an enjoyable experience for both people.
Trust can kill passion
Confidence can be so high, so special and unique, that it is capable of ending the passion that you want to explore.
In the end it may be two friends who have known each other for a lifetime, people who consider themselves best friends or brothers. If one of both parties takes this very seriously, there will be no passion or sex for the moment.
Someone can fall in love and get hurt
As shown in movies like “Friends with Benefits” or “ Friends with Benefits” , if one of the parties ends up feeling a lot of affection, a unique feeling of love, without the other feeling the same, the friendship can be involved in a problem , where the person in love is the most affected by disappointment.
While the other may have a deep sense of guilt. However, if you are going to have sex with friends, it is important to be mature about the situation and know why you are doing it.
Very strict rules take away naturalness
Although the rules maintain order, being very strict makes everything seem like a plan made by children, taking away passion, naturalness and the desire to continue with this activity.
Therefore, the rules must be light, not at all strict and flexible so that both people reach an agreement and can have sexual relations in a fresh way.
Jealousy can be generated
In sex between friends, many things can happen, and jealousy can be present. Even if one of the two is not in love with the other, jealousy and possessions can still exist.
Perhaps because it is natural in the human being or perhaps because someone cannot bear to see their friend or friend with another person in private. It is a difficult feeling to understand and manage, but it all starts from communication and mutual maturity.
If there is no sincerity, conflicts can be created
Many factors come into play here, such as being honest with each person’s sexual situation (if they have dysfunctions, if they feel a lot of affection, if they have venereal diseases, among many others), that if they are not said openly with our trusted person, that is, our dude.
We can look pretty bad and trust falls causing both friends to enter into an unwanted conflict. You have to be honest from the beginning with each aspect.
It can generate frustration
If you don’t have trust between friends or yourself personally, one of the two parties can be caught in a very severe frustration .
This makes sex neither fun nor enjoyable. On the contrary, it can make more people uncomfortable in private and generates a lot of doubts about the situation.
A stable relationship is difficult
If a stable relationship is sought, perhaps this type of practice is not very necessary, since if a person on both sides does not feel the same, it is not possible to establish a relationship no matter how hard they try or how many feelings they have spread.
It is simply difficult to establish a relationship with a friend, especially if you have sex for fun.
can end friendship
If it gets to a great extreme, where there’s no understanding, no laughter, no fun from just experiencing something new, the friendship just ends.
A couple is not lost, this does not exist. A friend is lost, whom we drive away due to confusion and feelings that do not exist.
Keys to enjoy sex with friends
Despite the disadvantages that this implies, there are keys to be able to enjoy sex with friends, which must be taken into account if you want to do this activity with the full maturity and time possible:
Make things clear from the beginning
Both people need to come to an agreement, be completely clear about what they are doing, why they are doing it, and that they will continue to have the same friendship, even though they want to have sex.
This is what will help to avoid future problems, it can be said easily, but it requires a lot of collaboration from both people.
Avoid creating expectations
In sex between friends, expectations should be avoided, that includes the time they can last having sex.
You must live in the moment, without creating fictitious scenarios that do not go according to the activity, you cannot think about courtship or marriage. You just have to live improvised without so many plans.
Focus only on living in the moment
As said before, you have to keep your mind focused on the moment, totally blank without imagining things that “could” happen.
This, in addition to saving many conflicts in the future, makes both people enjoy safe, healthy sex that is full of great pleasure.
Establish the occasions for the encounters
Both people may have responsibilities, different housing, or forced labor.
For this reason, they must maintain short but direct communication, about what occasions are ideal for having sexual relations, always with the opinion, time and consent of the other.
Don’t see each other too often
Being friends they don’t have the need to see each other every day, every hour or even talk to each other daily. That’s what couples do, people in love.
You must have time for yourself, in whatever area you decide to do. When the moment of sex between friends arrives, it is only enjoyed without alien thoughts.
Be clear that the relationship can be sporadic
Perhaps they have never heard this word, it is necessary to take it into account if sex is to be practiced between friends.
The relationship can become sporadic and it is not a bad thing, since it is something that will happen infrequently, with different time intervals and will be discreet or isolated.
It will not be within a daily routine or in the plans that one has, it is only one situation among many.
Sexual attraction and passion are what should prevail
Sex between friends occurs due to a strong sexual attraction, where passion predominates in a strong way.
If both parties have this kind of attraction and pleasure, without wanting a formal relationship, they can, with every right, have sexual relations.
This must be known to enjoy the moment, to explore pleasurable and erotic areas. In addition to exploring the sexual world mutually and in confidence.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.