Suffering for love, is one of the experiences that hurts the human being the most to go through, because it directly affects the emotional part and even health in general, which creates demotivation, anxiety, despair and feelings of sadness.
However, it is a situation that can be improved, to the point of believing in love again and falling in love again leaving past bad experiences aside.
For these reasons, in the following article you can discover the consequences of suffering for love and some effective recommendations, so you can live in harmony and overcome all the adversities caused byheartbreak.
What is suffering for love?
Suffering for love, has a close relationship to emotional dependence, that is, the attachment that a person has towards another and that generates suffering when he knows that he must let him go.
This suffering can trigger a series of consequences that we will deal with later. The fact of suffering for love is also due to the vulnerability that certain people develop when they feel incomplete because they have lost the affection of their loved one.
Therefore, certain attachment patterns are generated, however, these can be controlled so that thelove breakupis easier to overcome andself-loveis encouraged above all other things.
Causes of suffering for love
Suffering for love, is generated by various causes, these can be triggered as the affective relationship loses its main components so that it remains stable, therefore, below you will know the main causes that cause suffering for love:
False expectations
Expectations are the hope or possibilities that each individual creates to achieve something or achieve a goal. False expectations appear when a person promises to perform an action, behave in a certain way or satisfy a need but never comes to fruition.
Therefore, false expectations generate disappointments, discussions, disappointments, which are transformed into suffering, this is because when they are in love, people create expectations towards the other person and when they do not meet, love disappointments are generated.
disappointments
Disappointment has to do with the loss of illusion or hope that one has about the loved one, that is, it is the moment where the person realizes that their partner is not what they really thought, which is why the disappointment, disappointment and later love breakup.
emotional attachment
It is about the psychological dependence that one person creates on another, it is the need to have him by his side as an essential part of his life. Emotional attachment becomes negative and dangerous when the victim begins to experiencedepression and anxiety attacks due to lack of closeness to the loved one.
Misconceptions about love
Believing that in love violence, psychological or verbal abuse, family distancing, obsessive jealousy and lack of personal freedom are allowed, are misconceptions that are conceived when being in toxic relationships and lack of self-love, therefore, the relationship begins to decay causing suffering.
Emotional deficiencies
Emotional deficiencies are one of the most frequent causes when suffering for love, because it is in the nature of human beings to love and receive love from the people they consider important in their lives.
In this sense, not receiving affection triggers situations where the person feels insecure about himself, goes through episodes of loneliness and anguish, all framed within a relationship where love is no longer present, so it begins to there is suffering.
Consequences of suffering for love
When considered as a psychological state that directly affects the emotionsand feelings of people when they suffer from it, suffering for love has long-term consequences that can threaten the life of the individual who feels depressed. Below are the most common consequences of suffering for love:
Depression
Depression is present when the person begins to experience low self-esteem , feelings of sadness, decreases appetite, cries constantly, suffers from insomnia, his thoughts become negative and he becomes an unsociable person, all these symptoms are characteristic of depression for love
Anxiety
The National Council for Teaching Research in Psychology , of Mexico, published an article , where they state that ” Anxiety is a normal activation mechanism in the body that allows preparing and facing situations that require a special effort, which is why it constitutes an emotional and physiological reaction in favor of survival”
In this sense, anxiety has become one of the most common conditions related to suffering for love, since it begins to be a problem when the individual does not react during the anxiety attack but remains immobile, thus generating behavior changes. that can lead to psychological disorders.
Stress
The discussions that are frequent in couples that are going through difficult times, can generate stress, this is because love is important for the person’s self-esteem and well-being.
Therefore, when you feel that you have constant differences with your partner, frustration and despair arise that little by little become stressful situations, thus being able to directly affect the other factors in the person’s life.
Frustration
Feeling that you can no longer do something useful to save your love relationship generatesfrustration, also, it can be experienced as a result of unrequited loves, therefore, the person feels dissatisfied and in some cases desperate because he can not get the love he wants so much.
Health disorders
Health disorders derive as a consequence of the psychological aspects that the person who suffers for love begins to suffer. These are symptoms that originate thanks to depression, anxiety, frustration and other consequences.
Consequently, the individual presents loss of appetite, lack of sleep, pain in the chest, everything is somatized by the body as a disease, in addition, it directly affects the normal function of the organism and the energy it needs to function properly.
Suicide
An article published by the National Autonomous University of Mexico reveals that the male suicide rate is considerably higher than in women, after going through a divorce, this is due to the fact that men tend to experience emotions of uncertainty, which lodge them in a depressive state up to suicide.
On the other hand, women tend to take divorce or love breakup as a new opportunity for freedom to resume their life goals. Suicide can also be present in the female sex, however, everything will depend on the emotional stability of each person.
How to stop suffering for love?
While it is true, people throughout their lives experience the feeling of suffering for love at least once, the important thing in these cases is that there are a series of keys that are effective to overcome this situation, then you can know them:
1. Accept and understand the situation
The main thing after any emotional loss is to recognize the situation and understand that in many cases, continuing with that relationship was not being beneficial for you. After the person internalizes that they will no longer be with their loved one, the stage of healing and overcoming the loss begins.
2. Encourage self-love
The Italian psychologistWalter Riso, describes in his book “I already said goodbye to you, now how I forget you”, that people who have suffered for love, usually tend to develop other aspects of their lives that lead them to be better and leave in the past the bad experiences lived.
The author points out that individuals tend to love and value themselves more, to dedicate time to take care of their health, their emotional states, they dedicate themselves and pay greater attention to their interests after a love breakup.
However, it should be noted that this process is slow, but what really matters is that you begin to love yourself, have greater confidence and security in the things you can achieve so that you can also give way to another person who wants to be part of your life.
3. Practice detachment
Emotional Detachment is one of the most complex parts when suffering for love, this is because the person must begin to change their routines, occupy the time they dedicated to the other person and focus on their own interests, in addition to fostering self-love and start the stage of being happy with yourself.
4. Rescue the positive
Loving relationships that end tend to leave only the positive aspects, however, to avoid future grudges, it is important that you rescue the positive things that you obtained by being with the other person.
This will also help you heal faster, you will easily accept the situation you are going through and it will give you the opportunity to meet new people without making the mistakes of previous relationships.
5. Take your time
Time is one of the factors that stand out to stop suffering for love. Taking the time to heal before trying to start another relationship is essential for it to work and not fail again.
In this sense, it is necessary that you do not feel overwhelmed, nor are you in a hurry to get a new love, first of all, it is important that you feel good about yourself and know how to let go of the things and people that hurt you.
6. Create new routines
After an emotional loss, the person must reorganize his life, especially if it was a relationship where he was already formed a home. The creation of new routines will help you above all to resume the interests, tastes and plans that you had abandoned to lend time to the relationship.
Also, it will help you occupy your mind in activities that can be beneficial to your health and keep your mind occupied so that old memories do not wreak havoc; Activities such as physical exercise, traveling, being in contact with nature, going out to have fun with your friends or learning a new skill, are the most effective.
7. Interacting with other people
Expanding your social circle, in addition to helping you meet new people, will help you share your interests and gain new knowledge, in addition, it will motivate you to move forward and put aside suffering.
Also, it is important so that you can put your new interests into practice and give yourself the opportunity to meet someone you deserve in your life.
8. Acquire healthy habits
After a love breakup, people tend to neglect their health. It is important that you take the time that you now have available and exercise, eat healthy, start playing a sport or do physical activities that help you release stress and make you feel better about yourself.
9. Focus on the present
Leaving the past aside is of the utmost importance, the only thing you must rescue from it are the experiences you obtained and the positive things it brought you. You must begin to focus on the new opportunity for personal growth that life is giving you and the various things you can do to have a better and productive future.
10. Seek professional help if necessary
This is important in people who suffer the consequences of suffering for love for a long time, therefore, you should consult professional specialists in affective loss so that they give you the necessary tools that will help you overcome the situation more easily.
Professional help should be one of the options in all cases, since if the person has constant low self-esteem, they will feel that they do not have the capacity or the necessary reasons to continue with their lives, therefore psychological help is essential. in that case.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.