Today, many couples have been affected in maintaining a stable relationship for various reasons, where they can reach a breaking point without return, affecting both people emotionally, and causing consequences such aslow self-esteem.
The breakups of couples are affected, by one or several main causes that affect the relationship in a negative way. Once the separation is done, certain emotional phases begin that must be overcome with certain methods.
In this article you will find what can be those main causes that affect relationships and how it leads to a breakup of a couple. Likewise, the emotional phases that a person goes through after this and the methods to overcome it will be explained.
What is a breakup?
The breakup of a couple is the separation of two people at the time of ending their relationship, generating negative feelings in both for such an agonizing situation. These processes can be caused by reasons that have affected them negatively.
In this sense, astudyconducted at theUniversity of the Americas in Chile, explains that the breakup of a couple is a painful situation that two people go through when they have not been able to maintain a stable relationship, affecting each one their sense of individual well-being.
Main causes of a breakup
Couple breakups are made for one or more causes that threaten the stability of the relationship. This causes in both people, painful situations in which they may have stress, anxietyor depression; being some causes the following:
Lack of commitment
One of the main causes in the breakups of couples, is the lack of commitment, where there is no initiative on the part of one or both parties, to maintain a stable relationship, generating absence of responsibilities between them that damage the affective bond.
Irreconcilable differences
Irreconcilable differences are the most common causes of any couple breakup, where neither can agree with the opinion, action or belief of the other. This leads to the generation of many problems and a very conflictive environment.
In fact, a Study carried out at the Ibero-American University of Mexico mentions that differences in Personalities or beliefs is a common reason that leads couples to end their relationship, since they cannot agree in their attitude or in their manner. of thinking.
Lack of respect and consideration
In couples, the lack of respect and consideration causes them to end the relationship, since these are a fundamental pillar that must be maintained and that becomes very harmful when actions such as criticism, humiliation or ignoring are committed.
At the University of Huelva in SpaintoStudy was carried out in which they explain that disrespect, contempt, insults and humiliation are behaviors that irreversibly cause loss of interest and breakup in a couple.
Deceit and Infidelity
Another of the main causes of couple breakups are the deceit and Infidelity that a person commits outside of their relationship, since the other will consider it a betrayal and will feel a strong emotional shock that will generate great depression.
An article published in a psychology magazine mentions that couple infidelities are complex situations, since it is considered betrayal by the person who committed it, when having sexual relations with someone else outside of their relationship.
loss of interest
The loss of interest in couples is a cause for a break, because the emotional connection they had before is no longer there. This causes confusion in each one, since they make their lives individually, thus questioning the relationship.
love and passion are over
When the love and passion that existed from the beginning endsin couples, the relationship is usually broken. This is because there are no longer affective feelings on the part of a person, for which they decide to make the decision to terminate.
jealousy and distrust
Economic problems
Economic problems in relationships are complex and tense situations that cause the breakup of a couple, since financial issues directly affect the sentimental situation, when these cannot be supplied, generating many conflicts.
Emotional phases of a breakup
People, after having ended a love relationship, go through certain emotional phases in which many feelings are triggered. These can become detrimental to emotional health, these being the following:
Denial
The denial stage after the breakup of a love relationship is based on not believing what happened on a daily basis, disbelief being the protagonist of the matter, by not being able to recognize the result. This feeling can last anywhere from two weeks to a month.
Wrath
When the person reaches the stage of anger, they feel anger and fury with the person who had the relationship or with themselves, this is due to the psychological damage that was caused. In this phase,emotions of pain, injustice, hatred, anguish and among others are usually presented.
The main reason for feeling anger because of a breakup is usually because of some betrayal or disappointment from one of the two people that made up the relationship.
Negotiation
The negotiation phase consists of seeking a healthy approach with the other person, but for this the fact of the breakup must have been accepted, so as not to worsen the situation with desperate attempts to recover the relationship.
Am sorry
When the regret phase is reached, people often become depressed when they recognize that they have lost hope of recovering their love relationship. However, they begin to see a more objective picture when accepting the loss of that special someone.
Resignation
The last emotional phase of a breakup is resignation, where sadness is no longer felt so much, for which people accept what happened and begin to move forward in a more objective and satisfactory way, and they also begin to recover their self-esteem. .
How to overcome a break of couple?
Breakups are painful and sad moments for people, when they lose someone they loved and considered special. Although this is completely normal, it is necessary to know methods to overcome it and thus move forward, these being the following:
1. Accept the situation
The main thing that every person should do after a love break is to accept the situation that is happening. Recognizing this fact is necessary to forget the past and thus live in the present, without having to frequently live with depression.
2. Vent emotions
A second method to overcome a love breakup is by venting the emotions that are inside in order to heal emotionally. The best thing to do is to do it in a quiet place where you can have confidence to do what you want.
3. Avoid blame and victimization
We must accept that when a relationship ends, there are no culprits or victims, therefore we cannot point to ourselves in that way. If necessary, mistakes are recognized and learned from them to gain more experience.
4. Keep your distance
It is advisable to keep your distance from the person who ended the relationship, in order to get over the break faster, because if there is contact again, it may be possible that we feel sad knowing that we will not be able to recover it.
5. Rescue the positive
Rescuing the positive in situations makes us see things in a different way, being able to take advantage of opportunities that we couldn’t before. These aspects are good to highlight, to stabilize self-esteem again after a breakup.
6. Work and promote self-love
It is necessary to work and promote self-love after a breakup, since this is what helps us to have security, confidence and self-esteem in ourselves. Habits like reading, eating well, and exercising are ways to work on it.
7. Lean on loved ones
Supporting yourself with friends and family is a good way to overcome a breakup, as they can be of great help, to move forward with their advice and motivations, turning those hard times into happier situations.
8. Keep your mind occupied
Keeping the mind occupied helps us forget that one person and thus overcome it more quickly. This can be achieved with activities that require our attention, which can be personal projects.
9. Carry out new and enriching activities
A good way to overcome a breakup is to carry out activities that are new and enriching for us, in order to get other experiences and knowledge about something that we did not know during this process.
Some options could be to practice a sport, take courses on a topic of our interest, start a business, read a book, get to know a new city, go out with our friends or simply do our favorite pastime.
10. Focus on personal goals and objectives
It is necessary to have a high degree of focus on the personal goals and objectives we have. This helps us to be focused on what we want and to have feelings of satisfaction when we achieve it, considerably increasing self-esteem.
11. Take care of physical health
Taking care of physical health is also considered necessary after a breakup, since we can be susceptible to diseases at any time. Carrying out physical activities is advisable, since we can drain emotions and take care of the body.
12. Seek professional help
If you consider it necessary, seek help from a professional to overcome the grief over the loss of the relationship. With the help of a psychologist, you will be able to move forward with your life, achieve an emotional balance faster, and suffer less from a breakup.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.