Ending with affective relationships is one of the greatest challenges faced by the human being because of the bond he establishes with the other person and all the feelings that this situation entails.
Forgetting a love is not easy but not impossible either, you need willpower, believing in yourself and focusing on the things that are really worthwhile in your life.
For this reason, the following recommendations are effective to accelerate the healing process, help you overcome the love breakup and feel more confident in yourself.
Recommendations to forget a love
Forgetting a love is not easy but not impossible, although it is true that there will always be memories of the end love relationship, there are also ways to control thought and low moods resulting from separation.
Therefore, thanks toresearchpublished in theJournal of Neuroscience, neurology specialists discovered that the placebo effect emanating from the brain helps to quickly overcome separation.
The purpose of the study is to make the brain believe that you are doing things or activities that will take you away from thoughts that remind you of your ex, help secrete a placebo that influences the regions of the brain associated with emotions.
For this reason, here is a list of recommendations so you can forget a love:
1. Accept the situation
Astudypublished by theJournal of Experimental Psychology: General, reveals that a group of researchers designed a strategy for people to overcome the relationship in a good way.
In this sense, one of the stages of the investigation focuses on accepting their feelings without fighting against them, but also taking into account that it is not necessary in their lives to love someone who does not belong to you.
This is how the study reveals that the fact of accepting the situation helps to overcome the breakup more easily.
2. Drain your emotions and feelings
Draining emotions is one of the main things that is done after a love breakup, however, you should keep in mind that it is not just getting depressed and crying, it is about letting out all feelings of guilt for the separation.
The release of emotions and feelings will make you feel lighter from negative energies, will help you face the grieving process more easily and above all, you will have more confidence in yourself so that you can continue with your life.
3. Keep your distance
The desire to get back with that person can betray your mind to the point of acting without conscience, therefore, after a separation it is important that you keep your distance from that person and have the courage to stand your ground.
One of the main mistakes that are made after a breakup is constantly looking for excuses to see or know things about your ex, keep in mind that acting in this way will only make you go back in your forgetting process.
4. Do not blame or victimize yourself
The personal coach Irune Jimenez , explains in her guide “How to overcome a couple breakup” , that the feeling of guilt after having ended a relationship is one of the most frequent, however the author describes it as a useless action.
This is because blaming yourself will not fix anything in the relationship that has already ended, the events of the past are behind us and only the present matters and what you start to do for your future.
On the other hand, victimizing yourself will only make your low mood worsen, the important thing after a relationship is to continue, therefore, excuses, blame and playing the victim for no reason will not achieve any of the positive objectives.
5. Forgive the faults that were done to you
Usually, relationships end due to adverse situations that violate the trust, respect and love that the two people could have had. If this is your case, keep in mind that holding grudges and remembering those faults makes you feel worse.
Forgiveness helps you to feel good about yourself, to leave grudges in the past and to overcome losses faster, in addition, forgiveness frees you from any burden that you carry due to the breakup.
6. Value the positive and reflect on the negative
Establishing the positive and negative points after you have ended a relationship is one of the main things you must do to make the forgetting process faster and more effective.
Establishing the good things that you are gaining from no longer being with that person and reflecting on the adversities that you have gone through will make you grow as a person and, above all, will help you not to make the same mistakes in the future.
7. Modify the routine you used to have
After having spent some time sharing with a loved one, routines are established and this is one of the most difficult points to overcome, however, having the willingness to change and renew your life after the loss is what will make you leave ahead.
For this, it is good that you start planning tasks or activities that you stopped doing due to being in a relationship, you can also take advantage of the time to resume a hobby, sport or reading that you left pending.
The purpose of modifying the routine is that you occupy the time that you dedicate to the relationship in productive and positive actions for you as a person, that help you grow personally and professionally.
8. Meet new people
When you least realize it, you’re already over your ex, which is why it’s important that you socialize with other people, have fun, and take back control of your life.
Socializing with new people will distract you from any bad situation you’ve been through, plus, interacting with new people can help you expand your knowledge and expand your circle of friends.
9. Lean on family and friends
Family support is always important to overcome any situation, even more so when it comes to affective and loving issues.
Friends and family, being your closest loved ones, know your weaknesses, moods and also how to make you feel better.
Likewise, to overcome a love relationship it is essential that you have the support of people who value you and who are important in your life, who let you know the value you have so that you have the necessary strength to face the loss.
10. Do recreational activities
Sport is a wonderful ally to raise your spirits, therefore doing recreational activities will help you, above all, to distract yourself from what happened, it will make you feel comfortable with yourself, it will improve your health and mood.
Short walks in the morning, swimming, going to the beach, enjoying natural spaces, will connect you with the good energies of nature, which considerably improves self-esteem.
11. Set goals and objectives
Rethink your interests by setting goals and objectives in the short, medium and long term, apart from keeping your mind busy, this will give you many reasons to continue forward without depending on the person who is no longer part of your life.
In addition, it will help you grow either personally or professionally, because you will be spending time on things that really have value and importance in your life, which will also leave you with new experiences and positive things.
12. Take time to heal.
A love does not forget from one day to the next, therefore, it is essential that you take the necessary time to heal all the bad moments that you have experienced during and at the end of the relationship.
This process can take months, but the strength of conviction that you have, tied to the support of your loved ones, will prevail so that you heal adverse events and can start a good relationship, leaving past circumstances aside.
13. Avoid starting relationships out of spite
The renowned doctor in psychology Walter Riso recounts in his book “I already said goodbye to you, now how can I forget you” , that when a person breaks an affective relationship, the first thing that happens is that their defenses decrease, the body and mind become vulnerable .
The author titles spite relationships as “palliative love”, it is about looking for a little affection in another person to avoid the pain caused by the breakup.
In this sense, Riso comments that after having lost a love, psychologically you are not ready to start another until you have completely overcome the first one, rather, it is a desperate act to make the ex-partner jealous or unconscious actions.
Also, you should avoid returning to an old love just out of spite, what these situations usually do is create greater sentimental conflicts, so you will end up feeling worse.
What is recommended is that you go through the emotional grief of the breakup and after having overcome it, consider starting a new relationship, not letting yourself be carried away by feelings blinded by despair and impatience.
14. Seek psychological help if necessary
Reaching a depressive state due to breakups is common when you do not have the support and help necessary to get ahead.
For this reason, psychology professionals can guide you so that through different therapies you can get out of said situation unscathed.
The important thing is that you recognize that you need help, psychologists are trained to give you the necessary tools that will help you put your old partner aside and move on.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.