Being heartbroken is a frequent expression. It is an expression that can refer to dozens of situations, because the intensity of pain and grief is subjective to each person.
It can refer to the rejection by a person, the loss of a love and even the death of a loved one. It is indisputably painful and each person has their own way of coping or not.
In the following article, we will talk about some applicable approaches or strategies to relieve the symptoms of a broken heart.
Recommendations for Healing a Broken Heart
Accepting the breakdown of a relationship is not easy. It is a difficult, emotional and profound process that can last for weeks, months or even years.
However, it is not impossible. Like all kinds of physical and emotional pain, it is not eternal. We will show you some methods you can use to overcome your sadness.
1. Accept what happened
The breakup of a relationship and the subsequent emotional damage are similar to a grieving process, where the person goes through different stages.
During these, the person will have, at first, difficulties to assimilate what happened. Therefore getting stuck in the event and focusing every thought on it will only weaken your mind, drain you of your emotions, and generally affect every aspect of your life.
That is why accepting events as they happened and recognizing that they cannot be changed are part of the healing process. This attitude towards what happened will be much healthier for your emotions.
Gaby Pérez Islas, thanatologist and specialist in suicidology, recommends not carrying a heavy suitcase full of resolved duels and resentments, and encourages the cleansing of these negative feelings to recover from the pain and heal it.
2. Avoid feelings of guilt
It is common that after the end of a relationship they seek to internalize what happened. It is easy to think that the events that have occurred are due exclusively to errors or weaknesses on your part.
However, a therapeutic and healthier approach is to contextualize what happened and recognize what or what were the true causes that led to the break. First, this will help you recognize what happened and, if you really made a mistake, work to improve it.
It also helps you recognize how much of the break up was not caused by you, but by the other person. As much as you love your old partner, they weren’t perfect. Like you, their mistakes and weaknesses could also have contributed to the end of the relationship.
3. Focus efforts on you
First of all, the most important person in these situations is you. It is you who suffers and goes through this arduous grieving process, seeking to accept and overcome what has happened.
Therefore, you must focus on your own healing. Do not think about others or what they will think about what happened, your mind and body are your temple and refuge, you must take care of them and treasure each one.
4. Avoid contact with the source of suffering
The happiness experienced when we are with someone for whom we feel an emotional attraction is due to the secretion of hormones into the bloodstream, such as endorphins and serotonin.
When we cut off communication and contact with the source of satisfaction, our body goes through withdrawal symptoms.
Therefore, the temptation to come into contact with the other person is common. Seek to talk to them in any method or meet her in places where you know she will be.
However, it will be easier for you to recognize what happened if you cut off all contact with the source of suffering or, at least, during moments where the pain and sadness are still very acute.
5. Keep your mind busy
Allowing what happened to occupy every corner of your mind, filling your consciousness every second with thoughts of sadness, anger, regret and much more, only anchors your life more and more to what happened.
You must allow time to enjoy other activities, to distract yourself and allow your mind to reflect and momentarily free itself from those overwhelming thoughts.
Reading, exercising, adopting new hobbies or implementing a new routine are some examples of activities that you can implement in your life.
6. Do new activities
Relationships often become a fundamental part of a person’s life. They devote a significant portion of their time, attention, and resources to the relationship.
When it ends, people find themselves with a huge amount of time, in which they do not know how to invest or spend, and which only serves to plunge further into the depths of sadness or loneliness.
Therefore, it is advisable to keep your mind busy and a great way to achieve this is by adding new activities to your life. Exercise, meditation, hobbies of any kind, going out and having fun, or even social activities.
7. Exercise regularly
Physical exercise is a good therapeutic approach for your body and mind. It has been recognized that individuals with healthy habits, which include cardiovascular exercise, decrease the incidence of diseases.
In this sense, studies and meta-analyses have been published that study the effects of exercise and have observed that people who exercise regularly have a lower risk of developing anxiety or depression disorders.
It also helps build robust self-esteem, improves cognitive activity, sleep schedule, boosts your mood, eases fatigue, and any other symptoms that may appear as a result of a broken heart.
8. Write down your thoughts and emotions
Catharsis is a purging method in which you can expel the feelings lying within you, only after having recognized, faced and overcome everything that sinks you more and more.
In this sense, one of the techniques to achieve catharsis is to write everything you feel, experience and think in a journal, document, or anywhere you want. What are the advantages?
First, it allows you to give a name and form to what you feel. It forces you to think and look at your emotions, whether it be anger, frustration, regret, or sadness. Second, it helps you identify everything that sharpens or calms these emotions.
In such a way, you can adopt healthy habits and behaviors that favor your happiness.
9. Socialize with family and friends
Socialization and interpersonal interactions help our mind to distract us from the root of the pain, it can also provide us with different perspectives on the problem, possible solutions or simply help emotional relief.
In this sense, a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies sought to determine the importance of friendships, and social interactions in general, as a predictor of happiness.
They found that the quality of a friendship was a significant determinant in the development of happiness. In conclusion, social interactions with other close beings can help us overcome this painful process.
10. Adopt a pet
Pets are another method of relating to another being, even if it is not human. They offer company, distraction, affection and can even foster a sense of responsibility or the virtue of patience in their owners.
Like close relationships with humans, feeling the emotional and physical closeness of a pet helps activate neuroendocrine systems, which culminate in the release of hormones such as serotonin, endorphins, or even endocannabinoids.
Anthrozoos, a multidisciplinary journal that studies animal-human interactions, published astudyshowing that people with pets tended to feel greater satisfaction with their lives.
11. Connect with nature
Going outside and getting some fresh air can help you distract your mind, pay attention to the details of the landscape around you and become aware of the importance of it.
You can go for a hike on your nearest trail, go camping for a few days, try some mountaineering, or just visit a nearby lake and sit on the shore, reflecting on your loss or whatever else is running through your mind.
12. Seek professional help if necessary
For some, a broken heart is a cataclysmic event of major proportions, the outbreak of which reverberates through all their thoughts, emotions, and deeds. Their life changes radically and they find themselves unable to take control of it again.
That is the importance of a professional therapist. He will facilitate the healing process, as they give you the necessary tools, knowledge, support and empathy to achieve it. Don’t be afraid to go to a professional if you think your emotions are getting out of control.
Consequences of not healing a broken heart
The loss of a relationship or the death of a living being carries deep emotional scars and this varies from person to person. Some learn to cope relatively quickly, others go through prolonged periods of mourning.
But the reality is this: if the feelings are not addressed, acknowledged or professional help is not sought, the person will find themselves in a spiral of sadness that goes deeper and deeper, until it becomes maddening.
Here are some of the consequences of not healing a broken heart:
Low selfsteem
After a broken relationship, to cite an example, the person may feel insufficient, generate feelings of insecurity and doubt about their self-esteem. The self-concept of oneself can be distorted or hindered.
Low self-esteem can also destroy relationships, since the person may feel insufficient or undeserving of the people with whom they are surrounded and, finally, decide to distance themselves from them and isolate themselves from all social interaction.
Health disorders
The depression that can originate after a broken heart not only generates psychological changes, but also physical ones. These changes negatively impact the way our body operates and even increase the risk of certain pathologies.
Some examples are cardiovascular diseases, where those people who suffer from depression, anxiety and stress are more prone to suffer from these, as indicated by the American Journal of Hypertension .
A possible explanation for this is that a person with a chronic depressive picture is less inclined to make positive and active decisions about their lifestyle, preferring to remain sedentary.
Family and work problems
Chronic, uncontrolled stress and sadness not only results in a state of lethargy. The person, consumed by his own frustration with his current emotional state, may erupt into anger or aggression.
This negatively impacts interpersonal relationships of a family or work nature, where the person’s emotional instability reduces their productivity, cognitive functions, and reasoning.
addictions
The consumption of substances, such as cigarettes, alcohol or any other, represents an incentive for the person under depression. They manage to alleviate, momentarily, the acute states of depression and anxiety.
This temporary relief encourages the person to use it repeatedly and for a long time, to the point where it becomes an addiction. The person is unable to stop this harmful habit, even if they are aware of its impact.
Alcoholism, for example, entails physiological consequences, such as decreased defenses, cirrhosis of the liver (or any other liver disease), increases the risk of suffering heart and brain pathologies and much more.
Anxiety and depression
Feelings of guilt for not having done enough, not having changed before, words never said or actions not done, are some of the factors that push the individual into a spiral of depression and anxiety.
The consumption of substances, such as those mentioned above, can perpetuate the state of depressiontag. This leads to a greater risk of diseases, generating a vicious cycle where the person’s physical or mental incapacity, his emotional state and his actions push him even more to self-destructive activities.
Suicide
The vicious cycle described above generates even more pain and exacerbates negative thoughts. The person is now in a self-destructive emotional state, caused by the emotions caused by the broken heart, which were not dealt with in time.
The risk of suicide, generated by self-destructive behaviors and major depressive disorders, increases significantly and in these cases urgent psychiatric therapy, pharmacological or not, is required to treat the person.
University Professional in the area of Human Resources, Postgraduate in Occupational Health and Hygiene of the Work Environment, 14 years of experience in the area of health. Interested in topics of Psychology, Occupational Health, and General Medicine.