People enjoy the company, the love of someone else, an indescribable feeling, alove as a couplethat can last a lifetime. However, relationships are not perfect, there are actions that can decrease the love that arises between two people, something that today unfortunately, is very common.
It happens a lot in today’s youth, who do not know the meaning of loving and are carried away by not so positive actions, which are part of human nature. But what actions can ruin a relationship? How can we recognize them to avoid them in an instant?
In this article, you will know about 15 specific actions that can ruin a relationship, which will serve a lot for your relationship or even the relationship of people or friends around you.
1. Excessive jealousy
Jealousy is one of the actions that can most bother in the life of a couple and people individually, it happens even in friendships with friends. In this sense, jealousy is painful emotions that appear before a threat, real or imaginary, to lose a loved one or the affective position you have.
They are normal, yes, in fact there is normal and moderate jealousy throughout our lives. But when taken to extremes, they can be emotionally and psychologically damaging within a relationship. Excessive jealousy is not difficult to recognize.
Excessive jealousy is characterized by an irrational concern, mainly aboutan infidelityfelt by the couple, with the difference that occurs when there are no well-founded suspicions, as a consequence there is an intense emotional alteration and leads to behaviors aimed at controlling the other person.
2. Little or no communication
Communication is fundamental for love as a couple, if this is neglected, words and trust are lost within the relationship between two people. It is one of the most important bases for maintaining stable love. The only possible way to actually start a relationship.
But the lack of communication is not a cause, it is a consequence of various factors that can deteriorate care between two people; Not listening to each other and downplaying the partner’s words is one of the causes.
Lack of respect and ignoring the other person also has a lot to do with a lack of communication.
Basically, the lack of communication occurs due to the null importance that a person has within their partner. But the first step to avoid this is not only to always pay attention to the person we love, but it is also necessary to put yourself in the place of the other.
They are a strong pillar to ruin a relationship, since it is about heartless actions, much less remorse. And you have numerous reasons why they happen in different aspects. Lies can haunt the couple’s daily life.
According to the Mexican magazine Padres e Hijos , they establish that there are two types of lies: white and black.
The “white” lies are the lightest, but in the same way they are gradually ruining the image and trust that our partner has in us. They can be recognized by typical phrases such as “I didn’t answer you because I was busy”, which people often say to hide the true situations.
And the “black” lies are considered the strongest, especially when they stop being concealed and are discovered. They are accompanied by infidelities, unbalancedemotionsand consummated relationships in secret. Black lies are therefore capable of ending a relationship permanently.
Infidelity also shares similarities with lies, but in a more hidden and serious way. This is another of the reasons why relationships are ruined.
Infidelity is not just being with someone else behind our partner’s back, simply put, it is about breaking the trust that exists within the couple with secrets. Infidelity has many reasons, not always questionable, making it a controversial topic about relationships.
Robert Weiss, one of the most reputable American psychotherapists, explains that there are many reasons for infidelity, among which one of the most relevant is emotional emptiness. He mentions that“If the relationship is unsatisfactory, sooner or later, one of its members will end up being unfaithfultag. “Among other reasons such as insecurity orlack of love .
5. Lack of confidence
Trust is a solid foundation of a couple’s love, just like communication. But if it fails or doesn’t exist, the relationship just doesn’t work at all.
A relationship is easily collapsed by lack of trust, as this unleashes other reasons that ruin a relationship, which have already been mentioned previously: infidelity, lies and even jealousy.
Antoni Bolinches , a clinical psychologist, mentions that “A couple relationship is not an instantaneous fact, but a becoming, or expressed in another way, trust then is not a choice” , in fact, not understanding the couple is also one of the reasons for which trust is annulled and therefore, the relationship is ruined.
6. Physical distance
Not simply a distancing like each of the parties are in a different country, but a close, physical distancing between the two. In this sense, it is a distancing where there is not even the slightest affection and attention on the part of each person.
Recognizing physical distancing occurs for various reasons, as explained by Dr. Nancy Alvarez, there is more than one cause for this, including little or no communication between the two people, as well as indefinite time at work or dedicated to other people, both friends and lovers.
This can get worse over time, not just in a relationship but on a social and family level. A distanced person can distance themselves from friends and family by spending more time on personal things, which most of the time, are harmful.
7. Physical and psychological ill-treatment
Abuse within a relationship has been seen a lot in recent years, both in women and in men. And sometimes it leaves people trapped in a relationship that is, after all, totally ruined.
Physically it can be reflected in insults, verbal or physical fights, direct blows, among other ways. Damaging the trust and respect that exists in a relationship, as well as tarnishing the image of those involved. This is a very obvious form and is easily demonstrated.
The psychological form is more discreet, but deals with doing damage over time, it can be seen verbally and non-verbally. It is known that even words can do more damage than actions, influenced by threats, manipulation and belittling.
8. Lack of attention to the needs of the other
A relationship is made up of a team, where the needs are mutually attended, especially the personal ones. But one way to ruin relationships is by ignoring the needs of the person, thus, attention in general disappears.
Without attention, a relationship as a couple is not possible. It can be recognized in many ways, such as a lack of commitment, previous plans with the couple, promises made between the two, among others.
The lack of attentionis also reflected in the lack of support that is expected from a person in a relationship. Physical and psychological support, which always seeks to strengthen a person. But if this does not exist, the relationship is simply ruined.
9. Lack of love and details
In love as a couple you have to show your feelings. The kisses, the hugs and the small details are enough to show what they both feel in a strong and honest way. The lack of affection can ruin the relationship over time.
People affected by the lack of affection or details are less satisfied and the emotional closeness within the couple is ruined. Therefore, the feeling disappears and there is no desire to demonstrate or revive it.
The University of Oregondid a study where it establishes that“Affection is one of the main reasons why couples seek psychological therapy. In general, human contact is essential for people’s mental health.”
10. Little or no sexual activity
There are multiple reasons that are the cause of little sexual activity. Mainly the lack of interest that exists from the beginning on one’s part, both women and men alike.
In addition to this, aspects such as anxiety , stress, work schedules, and even sexual routines, are the cause of decreased sexual appetite within a relationship.
11. Invasion of personal space
A common thing in many toxic couples. This is an aspect that is closely related to distrust, a cause of ruining multiple relationships and is usually more common than you think.
Invading the couple’s personal space is also considered one of the causes of toxic lovetag. And for many details, from the smallest thing, which is to check our partner’s personal items (phones, calls, emails, among others), to never leaving them in a private space or with other people, see friends or family, coming to control the person who wants his own space.
This weakens the network of trust that exists in a relationship, plus it can lead to fights and endless discussions.
12. Lack of time together
Another of the most common causes of ruining a relationship is a horrible feeling that haunts people who go through this; the lack of time, referring to the affection and dedication that should exist within a stable couple.
The lack of time, can be seen reflected in the daily life of a couple, due to the little attention that each person has within a relationship, the null affection or sweet words, such as “I love you” “I love you”among others small details that should exist within a healthy relationship. The slightest signs of concern also have a great influence, as well as being physically close to our partner.
This can generate a typical routine, and how a person gets used to it ends up putting aside the love and affection that exists in the couple.
13. Intrusion by family and friends
It is good to receive positive advice from friends or family, for our own good. However, there are sometimes malicious intentions with it, in fact many relationships are ruined by the meddling of others, sometimes taking advantage of it. It is one thing to help and another to take advantage.
At the family level, it is usually the in-laws who decide to ruin the relationship between two people, often because they do not consider the person “ideal” and do not share the same opinions as the couple. Deciding for the couple and taking strict control, is capable of making both parties uncomfortable until the breakup.
In friends the situation changes a lot, sometimes it is because they decide to distance the person from their partner for zero reasons, such as wasting time or not receiving adequate affection.
Other times, because there are some who decide to take advantage of the most fragile moments to ruin the relationship and stay with one of the people after the breakup.
14. Lack of support in goals and projects
Support and encouragement in a relationship is mutual and important to the lives of both people. It helps in personal and professional growth. The main problem is when it does not exist, it affects much more than you think.
Not giving time to the goals that our partner sets is something crucial, not only because it can lead to depression for the person who suffers from it, but also hurt their self- esteem and they begin to doubt themselves.
It is then, a way of showing the little concern and affection that exists on the part of someone within a relationship, reproaching them for intimate things about the couple, all this can affect psychologically more than physically.
15. Lack of commitment and responsibility
Finally, a relationship is built through a commitment of two people, which carries a great responsibility on top of it. The fact of wanting to be together, of loving and respecting each other. If there is what is known as a disagreement, it can be the main reason for breakups and ruin a relationship in all its facets.
Not assuming a commitment and not being responsible for the acts that are committed during the course of a relationship, can be caused by the fear or insecurity that someone suffers, other times by more personal matters accompanied by lies and infidelities.
It’s a tortuous journey to go through all this. The lack of responsibility can be reflected in situations of unwanted pregnancies and premature abandonments, for the simple fact of not assuming the commitment that is made within the couple and dissociating themselves from all existing responsibility.
But to learn to love correctly, it is necessary to do something like what the late Oscar Wilde said, who famously said “loving oneself is the beginning of an idyll that will last a lifetime.”